Aim for the stars

Exams are finally over, well technically it was long over about a week ago. But I didn't have the time to blog about it till now. Exams ended on Wednesday and we're getting back our results next Wednesday. Well, overall I feel that the exam was average. Biology was a major shock, I think I will pass, but not with a good score. Chemistry was okay, but never putting too much hopes on it either.

After exams, I had to clean up the mess I made in the kitchen and I did it all by myself. By the time night came, I was dead tired and fell asleep. Hahaha :):) Packed my luggage for the weekend at London with my family! :):) My parents came up to UK to celebrate Chinese New Year with us! :):) 

 My dress for CNY! :):) It's pretty plain, but I guess there is nothing else I could wear. Hahaha :):)

And yes! As usual, we had the traditional dishes that my dad would make every year for reunion dinner but this time, we went to a restaurant to eat because it was difficult for my dad to find all the ingredients he needed to cook and the woks and all the other stuffs. Weekend at London was awesome, but as soon as I got back from London, school starts all over again.

I just needed a break from school. Never really had a proper holiday which I do not need to have studies at the back of my mind. But I guess that's how this course is, 1 day break after the exams and here we are, intensive 2-weeks research course and guess what? I got the hardest topic to research on - The Physic Garden. You don't know what it is? Research it, and FYI, it is not botanic gardens!! 

This whole week was in lectures, learning about statistics and presentation skills lecture. I have no idea why by the time I get home which is around 4.30pm, I get so tired and by 10pm, I just want to shut my eyes, but I try to keep myself awake till 12midnight by doing work/surfing the net, then I went to bed. It's finally the end of the week! Going to dundee with my parents tomorrow to do some shopping because I'm LACKING my necessities, shall not list them because it's PERSONAL. Hahaha :):)

But.. Yeah, that's all I've got to say. Nothing really interesting in my life right now. So good night to those in Singapore and have a good evening to those in the UK :) ANDD... HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARJEET KAUR.

The hardest thing.

Because we will rise to the top

Finally! The day has come. All the past week of studying, this is the day to vomit out all the knowledge I tried to cramp in my head. Hahaha :):) Well, exams in 2hrs but right now, nothing is going in. Just waiting for time to pass and eat my lunch. Hahahaha :):) Good luck all :D:D

I like it like that

Exams are coming up in a week's time and I'm still here in the festive mood. Its pretty hard to get use the education system here where January is exams because usually January is when we start our school and we're all still playing around. Hahaha! Anyway, haven't been doing too good in my academic, but I'm going to turn it all around in sem 2. In sem 1, I just kept bumping around, bruising myself quite a bit, but people do learn.

Just got my timetable for sem 2, it's going to be crazy and stressful, but somehow I am actually quite interested in the modules in sem 2 and somehow I am actually looking forward to it. I must say that I messed up my sem 1 modules quite hard, but OH WELL. 10% +  30%. Oh goodness, its 40%. BUT I CAN DO IT :) So dulcy, fighting :) And also, to daffy, kor kor and desi, all the YENS, FIGHTING :D I like it how we all have iPhones now and we can have group whatsapp. CHECK IN TIME :D

Love ya

Happy New Year 2012

New beginnings.

Its coming to an end

Hopes of 'it' being the misery.

So 2011 is coming to an end. I must say, this year hasn't been good to me at all. But I'm glad I made it through 2011. There were many up and downs but I guess that's life. Regression to the norm, right? But I'm glad that I'll be spending my last day of 2011 and first day of 2012 with my love ones around me. 

I'm very appreciative of the people around me, especially my family members. They have been the most supportive people I can ever have. 2 weeks here in London with the people I haven't met in 3months and I feel so at home, even though I so far away from home. Spending our first Christmas alone abroad, having to skype with the other half of the family, with the crazy 8hours time difference. It was tiring, but I never once regret doing it, in fact, I had so much joy even though it was different. Tonight will be another round of reunion over skype, watching soccer together and may watch the fireworks in London. I can't wait :):) I dread going back, I dread the separation. Just when I get comfy here, I have to leave.

Like I said, things haven't been treating me well, maybe I haven't been treating myself well. Started off the year with job shadowing at various hospital which was really interesting and fun. Got to know a few doctors that I really look up to and kept in contact with some :) Gotten back my IB results which was pretty expectable but again not what I was looking for. CNY has been pretty memorable, considering that it would be my last CNY in Singapore till a pretty long time. Valentines day was amazing, my boyfriend was the sweetest guy ever. 

As days passes, my chance of getting into a University gets lower and lower, till the day I came to realize that my chance is actually 0% - I broke down. I blamed how life was so unfair, I blamed how stupid the system was, I blamed everyone but myself. I regret, for once, not choosing the correct universities. I knew I was capable of something, so much potential but no action. That was what disappointed me. At that moment, I gave up. I gave up on everything. Went on Europe tour for 5 weeks. Spend the most amazing time together with my siblings. Not long till I came back, someone, who I thought wasn't close to me but it is actually deep down in my heart, left us. I never really spend time with her, to get to know her much, I thought I was distant from her, but when the news broke out, I broke down. Flashbacks starting appearing in my head and tears couldn't stop flowing. I never knew how someone could watch me grow up from a distant.

Had to study for my retakes in May/June when I was back from my Europe trip. It was pretty disappointing results, but at least an improvement is an improvement. It will always be so near yet so far. And yes, I took my driving test, failed the first time with a pathetic immediate failure with 26points, but finally passing the second with flying colours and confidence with 4points. I woke up to reality, knowing that I was most probably taking a gap year, I should find a job, which I ended up being a tuition teacher, earning some money and giving a portion to my parents rather than taking pocket money from them.

And I started to do things I always wanted to do, but was afraid - pick up the guitar again. With the help of my musically talented boyfriend, he patiently taught me how to play the guitar and sing, boosting my confidence. And another thing was modeling, I always wanted to do it, but I know I was never a cookie cutter. But with the help and support of my sisters, we became blogshop models for a blogshop. We were really crappy, but at least a tick off my list :) Went for a shopping trip to bangkok with my family which was AMAZING because I manage to buy lots of clothes for super cheap prices :)

And I was growing fatter by the day, getting more and more unfit, I had to do something. Thank you for the opportunity that was given to me for us to join extremes. It was another dream that I've always wanted. It probably is the happiest thing that ever happened to me in 2011. Getting to train with the experienced and the pros really was a once in a life time chance. I grew a year older with little surprise, I was thankful for those around me who celebrated with me - extremes and boyfriend. The cake was simply cute. And extremes finally made my wish come true - to emerge first in any competition because the past few years, I have always been this close to becoming a champion, but never once did. I was thankful, thankful for everything. But sadly, all happiness had to be cut short, we had to leave.

The moment I knew that I got into University of St Andrews, I was really jumping for joy because my sisters got accepted too. So many thoughts went through my mind about the three of us, together, going through uni. Everything was going so well, but of course, nothing ever ends happy in 2011. Time was ticking down on me, the food to eat, the things to clear, the people to catch up, the preparation of a whole new life. I thought I was ready, but till now, I'm never ready.

September came and a new life began. I was excited, I was happy, but soon all this died. New friends, new environment, new problems - I couldn't take everything. The only thing that I was proud of is that I made it to the netball team in St Andrews. Mistakes and mistake have been made, but I didn't learn from all of them, which what killed me. I then realize myself so much more, what I actually am. I needed to grow up fast, but I'm just not doing it. I guess it takes time. So I will shut my doors, till then.

So that's how 2011 have been for me. The lowest point. So will 2012 be better or will it stay the same? Being positive, I will say everything is regression to the norm, so it will be a better year. I've survived a shitty year, I'm sure I'll be able to survive another. So today is the last day of 2011 and soon when the clock strike 12midnight, 2011 will be the past and the present will be 2012. The start of a new beginning. 

So as usual, new year's resolution for 2012. (1) To stop all vulgarities. (2) To save 500pounds. (3) To do well for IFM. (4) To grow up. (5) To blog more. (6) To help the people around me. (7) To start my 365. (8) To lose at least 5kg. (9) To do at least 20 crunches every morning when I wake up. And so many more. Good bye, my misery.