I'm relieve =)
Finally, I cried all my heart's out.
But was heard by darling. Uh o.




I'm just not in the mood. I could be PMS-ing, whatever it is. Went school uber late, was feeling very sick. Reached school just in time for Amath test, I was really feeling freaking sick. I just wanted to vomit. I flunked my test. Screwed up. Went to eat later, ate medicine. Felt so much better. Went for Literature. Super boring. My test was 10/20. For the first time. SIGHS. =(

Went for service trip. It really made me so sad to see all the grandmothers and grandfathers so sad, wanting to go home and all that. I tried entertaining 3 of them. I was very satisfied that they are happy when they talked to me. =) I really like that feeling.

Came back to school. Training. I didn't really train. I only played the last quarter. That's all. Later, Brian Quek went home. I went home with David, cabbed home. Thanks David. =) Ate dinner, talked to darlings. Hopes are crashed.

I really thought tomorrow you'll come over, but of course, you'll have tuitions. What am I thinking? Don't be stupid, Dulcena. I think I'll go out to study, alone. Tonight I'll be bored, bored to death. I should have gone out for a movie alone, just to keep myself occupied. Now, I'm bored. Oh well, I think I'm just PMS-ing. Whatever. I'm a girl, which needs to go through this once a month. Fuck.
Love is time's fool






Omg. I didn't do finish my work! ROAR. Hahaha. Went back to school at like 4.30. I thought 4.30 then school ends! But it was 3.50! GAHH! Hahaha. Went for Chemistry extra lesson, I wasn't even listening to teacher. Hahaha. I was busy finishing up my homework! =( More work more work! =( Oh well. I'm determined to do Chinese essay by tonight! TONIGHT! GET IT! I'm not going to break my promise! Wait, uh o. I forgot the format. DIE. NOPE! I'm going to do it! Hahaha.

Crazy me. OH WELL. =) Going to rest first, stomach/intestine hurting now. :) Tatatas.
You said, "You caused this upon yourself"





I'm at homeee! I've got MC today. I was having fever last night. My sister and brother-in-law sent me to the doctor's. Finally, the doctor didn't say I have gastric, but I had virus attack at the intestine. So gross. Oh well, I've skipped ADMATH, EMATH, BIOLOGY, CHEMISTRY & ECONOMICS. OMG. Can you believe it? All the important subjects! I think I'm dead =(

Well, I'm feeling much better now. No pains from when I eat my medicine till now. =) For the first time, I feel like going to school =( Oh well. Going to stay home and do my work! Admath, Chemistry, Economics and maybe English coursework 3 (I don't know). Oh well. Going to my studious state! Hahaha! See ya. =DD
I mean I could, but no one's listening.




If time could take my pain away
Sunday was like dead. Went to see a doctor, claimed to be gastric. But I don't believe. OH WELL. $33. Went to meet the daisy girl to collect my clothes. She was 10mins late. BITCH. Hahas =P For the entire day, my stomach was really hurting so badly =( Dinner was at hougang, PEPPERLUNCH! =DD

Came home. The night was horrible. I'm so sorry for making darling stay up the entire night for me just because I have on off stomach pains. =( screw my stomach. Just give me a stomach to transplant. Do a surgery on me just to get this freaking pain away.

Today was like dying. Rahhs. The pain were so on off. Chinese was alright. SIGHS. Like shit. Recess bored. PE I got a 5 today, so pissing. I wasn't feeling well, and I got 5. I should get like 7?! Idiot. Oh well. Biology was boring. Ken pisses me off. Lunch, my grandfather brought chicken rice. =) Oh well. After that, went to sick bay and rest. Stomach was really hurtful. I wanted to go home, but the stupid nurse doesn't want me to go! idiot. I still had to go for Chemistry, but didn't go for english. SIGHS.

SO MANY HOMEWORKS, NOT FEELING GOOD TO DO MY WORK. HOW? TELL ME HOW? I RATHER DIE LIKE, NOW NOW NOW! =(
I'm not understanding enough, screw me too.




Pain and Agony
Yesterday went to school. Chinese for the first period, Mr Brina Quek scared me again. Roars. Freaky freaky when he gets so angry and bangs the chair and door. Even chinese teacher was scared. Hahaha. Break was okay. Went for English, Cobb was an asshole. Because no one read the short story except for me and Juliette. Then he was like "Dulcena, really? All 5 pages you know?" Then I was like "YAA. I read." Then he was like "wow." Idiot. Went for lunch, saw my grandfather! He bought for us lunch! =) PRAWN MEE! Teehee, I shared with Emily. It was tooooo much! Hahaha. Later ran of to see darling's match. He won 9-4! =DD Hahaha! Congratulation!

Went for Literature 5mins late! I didn't know Miss Manly was coming! My reputation!! Hahaha. Started on coursework -- a play. It was quite retarded. Like Ken and JiaJun were being a total jerk. Literature ended, O level prelims ORAL! OMGH. I think i failed lah. I sucked so badly for the first time. OH WELL. There's goes my A*. Went for short training, I played GS! Hahaha! I scored! WHEE! Happy me. CHOP somemore. Hahahaha! Tyco me!

Later went for the movie marathon, ate popcorn and chingchow! Watched day after tomorrow. So scary. Hahas! Later took 106 to ps. Saw jo-ann and karwee at the bus stop! Hahaha. Later took 16 to kallang, met joanna, yuhan and tze min on the way! =) Went there at 7.30. Ran outside. I run run run, then suddenly my knee was like this SHARPP pain! I can't run! =( Then I limped to the back -- sharon ahyi and hui juan jie jie! Hahaha. I almost sprain my left ankle again lah! Stupid pavement. HAHAHA. Later went to do warm up. Physical was so tiring. My back got so tense up. =( Goodness. Then doing ball work, my stomach hurt so badly that I cried. Like what the hecks.

What else man. Knee got problem. Ankle almost sprain. Back so tense, can't stretch. Stomach so pain. I think I'm dying. ROARS!! Oh well. Fetched home by charmaine and her gf. Hahaha, thanks =DD Talked awhile on the hp then went to bed with bad stomach pain.

Woke up without feeling any better. Ate maggie mee. Watched tv. See see look look around. Now I'm here. Mummy is going overseas to HK (shopping!) tonight! See ya. =)
It's the last words that are hard to say.




So what are you waiting for?
Well, I didn't have to squeeze in the car this morning! =) Happy me. Breakfast was alright, I was forcing myself to eat finish. I swear, there's something wrong with my stomach, I just felt so weird, sometimes feel like puking. Ughh. This isn't good =(

Assembly was boring. Very Highly Commendation, there's go another one. Sighs. Emath was boring, I was about to fall asleep. Recess was boring.. Slack around do nothing. Biology was okay. My hair stand though, when teacher said something disgusting. But when I told Mr Brian Quek, he laughed like shit, you know why? Because Brian Quek = SICKOO. Hahaha. Went for English, Miss Manly was there. ROAR. Cobb was so high. Hahaha.

Mummy and Daddy came and give us lunch! I love it! =DD Hee! Everyone was staring at us in the canteen! Hahaha! OH WELL. This is called showered with parents' love. Hahaha! I love them! <3 Went for Economics. I forgot got test! I think I'm screwed. Later studied abit. Went for Chemistry, new topic. I can't wait for Saturdays lessons =)

After school, went to accompany BRIAN QUEK for his game. Before he could played, I went home. Hahaha. =P Went home with willy! =DD Was playing puzzle bubble in his PSP until I reached home. Hahaha! =DD I suck at it though =X

Dinner. Tv-ed. Now I'm here =) I hate singtel, con man. ROAR. And I still extended my plan for another 2 years. SIGHH! I'm going to sleep! Mr quek is waking me up later!
True love never fades, no matter how far it is.




Would you count me in?
Woke up at 6am today, I didn't wake up to do my work! DIE. Oh well, went to school, squeeze behind again. So angry. Oh well, breakfast. Woke darling up for school. Went to school. Everyone was in a mess, like everyone was squashed up. Hahaha. Assembly was boring, tutorial was roars. I got commendation only =( Super sad.

Admath got like test. I've got it correct =) Smart me. Hahaha. After that, double break. Did finish my Literature essay, I think I suck at it =( Stupid Caged Bird. Hahaha. Darling came and entertained me. =DD Hahaha. Went for Literature class. TEST! =( I think I screwed up, I'm so sad. Roars. Oh well. Lunch was alright. Hahaha. Economics was quite slack. I think I ate too much chips that my stomach wasn't feeling well.. Hahaha.

After school, followed the C div to go for match vs yishun. Duh, lost. Oh well. =) Went back to school, Brian Quek wasn't there anymore =( Oh well. Talked to Emily awhile, then went home (Mummy fetched). Liz got a ride back. We gossip so much on the journey back. Hahaha. It was quite fun. And yeah, as we conclude, Emily changed so much. *Sighs*

Came home. Dinner-ed. Went out to get my brother's foot and father's arm "fixed" by Chinese Sinseh. Hahaha. At the mean time, we went to buy this lovely pink//white top from IP Zone and bubble tea. And dajie bought durian. Came home, eat eat eat. And now I feel like puking.

That's all bahs. =DD See you soon! Marcus is off to HK to get my donuts! YUMMY! I'm fat fat fat! =(
I love my hairstyle today <3




I don't want to be who I am
I'm eating my own words:
I don't want pity, but I'm pitying myself
Making myself look like a fuck up pitiful bitch, but in fact, I wasn't a pitiful ass.
I just needed pity I guess.

Maybe that's the real Dulcena.
She was never strong, never moving on.
Forever dwelling into the past of the terror.
Thinking by getting pity can make her life move on

What joke.

She isn't good enough for a sweet guy like - you.









Woke up at 6.05 because my brother! Saying that amelia is coming over. Goodness. RAINING LEHH! Good time to sleep. Hahaha. =P Squeeze at the back of the car. Went for breakfast, I had like dam big appetite. Lol! Went to school. Assembly was scary! I swear, I JUMPED LIKE HELL! The stupid video, looked so nice. Then suddenly some fierce monster come out, me and Emily jumped lah! I swear I jumped the highest I ever go lah! It's dam scary. EARLY MORNING LEHH! Monisa, Hui Yin they all laughing at me lah. GOODNESS. Hahaha! Later me and Emily keep laughing at ourselves, freaking funny!

Ad math was alright. Recess - SLACK. Chemistry C2 & C3. My readings were like HUHHHH! Goodness lahh. Hahas. Luckily I brought my French curve (Like finally. AFTER everything that I've done with coursework and left 2 more. LOL!). E math was so boring. Lunch was a big hoo-haa. *Sighs, so alike. So scary. SO frightening. No one ever understands* Econs - Stupid coursework was wrong. Totally, goodness. I need to redo =( Biology, teacher didn't come. Slack the entire lesson.

After school finished up C2 C3, I smelled pungent smell. I just knew it. My heart crushed. Another let go. Later went home on my own. Bought food at heartland, went home. Dinner-ed, now I'm here.

Sometimes talking to yaanmeng can be very sickening. Talking to Marcus is the best, but he's leaving for Singapore tomorrow! All the best in your match Marcus! =) I've locked my blog too long! Everyone missing it! I'll open it! =)
Sometimes I should just find a bottle.




All the times we spill our coffee
Sunday was a boring day. Stupid hair-straighter girl piss me off. Never ever going to do meet ups again. Roars at that sec 1 retard nerd-looking girl. HERHH. Dinner was at kallang, the thai sharkfin. But we didn't eat sharkfin soup. Hahaha =P

Talked to darling the entire night, we slept on the phone. Teehee. I dreamt again! OMG. =P Woke up at 6.40. Went to school. Chinese was listening, it was alright. Then recess, PE was fun! Haha FLOORBALL. =DD Biology was okay. Stupid Natassia, I bet today is the worst day of her life, her IGCSE Prelims Paper 1, she got the lowest in the level. I can't believe she failed lah, who can possibly fail IGCSE? Omgh.. Then biology she got like 2 2 2 1 1 out of 3 3 3 3 3. Hahah. Serve her right. Hahaha!

Lunch was alright. English did work again. Sians.. Chemistry did practical with Emily. Then went off. Slack in the canteen with Brina till mummy came at 7pm. Haha. I was trying to play tennis, instead, I was chasing balls. Hahaha. I lost 3 of his tennis balls! =( Sorry darling!

Reached home, dinner. Now I'm here talking to Marcus Eng! Hahaha =DD
You're moving too fast, I don't understand you




Wow! It's being ages since I've last posted. I didn't know it was so long

Oh well, it was a busy week! Goodness. So tired... Everything's over! Happy happy =DD Hahaha. Brian<33 came over today! =DD Really had fun with him! I took 1 photo of us today! But I was so ugly, and I had to delete it. Hahaha! Oh well. =DD

I'M GETTING FATTER. WHAT TO DOOOOOOO. HAHAHA. =DD




One perfect rose
Woke up at 6.20? Didn't have the time to bathe. So yeah. Hahaha, went to eat breakfast. Darling overslept! Hahaha. Reached school, hall was bombarded with high technology. Hahaha. Tutorial was first, sneak peak some stuffs from Elvina. Hahaha. Quite stupid. Oh well. Assembly was boring, I just can't stop being so restless. Now there's a new system, demerit and merit points. It's just lame, they just can't stop being bored. Hahaha.

First lesson was CHINESE IGCSE PRELIMS. Omg. Heh, everyone like cheated. I helped people spell words, while I use the handphone's dictionary. LOL. Later break wasn't much, slack slack slack. PE was frisbee, I hate non-enthu people. It's just dam pissing when you're team is a okay team, with some assholes inside which spoils everything. Later went Biology, I got 6 6 for Biology! Test got 24/30, quite shit up, but still good, I got a star. Did CW C4, goodness. I'm not done, I'm screwed.

Lunch was just bored, everyone was gone. It's just me, darling and Kevin at the table. It sucks when no one is there, it makes me feel like an idiot who is so unwanted. RAHHS, suckers all of you. One gone, all gone. Bitches&Bastards. Oh WELL. Lunch was nasi lemak. Later went for English, did a conversation essay thing. Mine was like so short, OMG. I think I'm failing again. What crap. Went for Chemistry. Dam pissed, I got like 17/30 for test. So many careless. DAM PISSED. Like 4 marks. Can get me like Achievment 6. WHAT SHIT. Pissing. C2 and C3 was 5 5. What the shit. I'm suppose to get 6 for C3, and I don't know what went wrong, going to find Cheryl Sia tomorrow! HO! Neh neh. I need my 6!!

Straight after school, mummy fetched us. Went to wheelock to get brother's Imac, but didn't get as it was expensive, went over to shaw, wanting to get my ACS pull-over. But its OOS. ROAR. Oh well, went home, did a bit of work. Dinner-ed. Tuition-ed. Now I'm here.

I'm sorry darling if you're upset. But I have to see how things are going, its doesn't mean I still like him or what, it's just curious as a friend. =) Nothing more than then. I know you'll understand. See ya.
I remember like it was yesterday




My back was turned to you.
Mummy's back! =) I miss her! Well, today was boring. Slacking. Going to do work tonight. I wished to speak to you tonight. But am I able to open my mouth and let the rants out? And spoil the mood. But I don't want to suffer. What to do. Maybe I should, maybe I shouldn't -- in Dilemma. Can we really talk things out? Will we have sleepless nights again? On our bed, thinking how to fix this problem with swollen eyes.
She reflected upon her heart's memory which tears her down.




Say love?
& there were pizzas last night. Wasn't full (getting fat) Shalene came over as she got pangseh by Xunhui. Hahaha. Webcam with darling. He looks tired because he ate his medicine which makes him drowsy. He called me, we talked awhile. Nothing much. Nothing touched my heart, I sunk. But I have to live with it, my fate?

Stupid night. Kept waking up, maybe because of the temperature of the room. Woke up at 6.10 to wake mr pig up. Talked awhile, and I feel asleep. Woke up at 10am, watched tv, ate branch. Craving for fried dumpling. Hohoho. Now I'm just waiting for someone to pop online. Going to do work at 12midday. Goodbye.
I guess there isn't love anymore, but just commitment.




Friday I kinda of forgotten what happen. It's like Chinese was fucked up thanks to bitchy Natassia and bastardy JiaJun and rest. Like what the fuck, suck screwed up kids. Recess was in Chinese class doing English essay -- CHIONGING. English was OMG, I had to do the speech and made Brian Toh angry because I copied his style. Oh well. Lunch was goodness, I ate 2 servings. Getting fat getting fat. Literature teacher didn't come, was relief, cramps hurt like shit. School training was fucked up, pissing me off, thanks Jennifer for helping me. Clique training was alright? Our team has only just nice 7 players toplay for 2 quaters. And this is the line up
GS - Ashley
GA - Siying
WA - Jeanette
C - Desi
WD - Shalene
GD - Dulcy
GK - Daffy
What goodness?! I'm playing GD and Daffy is playing GK. This is insane! But got MQ. I'm starting to play defensive defence, instead of defensive mid-field. I'm loving it. =)

Today was bored. Woke up at 9+ no one awoken was at home. Help update Clique's website. Later they came home from market, ate junk food (Deep fried food). Slack around watch tv. Yaan Meng is over (still at my house), ate lunch (char guo tiao, steven korkor cooked. Not bad for the 1st time), drank tons of water and lychee ice-blend and ate darling gave me the apple on the 4th. It's now 8 days from it and I'm eating it. HAHAHA.

Darling came online. Talked awhile. and there goes is busy schedule. sighs. why am I torturing myself, why can't I just have the freedom to receive love from the one I love.. Went to bed, woke up at 7.50 because I heard dinner was PIZZA. But till now, no signs of it. *hungry me*
I'm missing you badly.




Wednesday, 090408

Woke up for school. So bored. =( I kinda of forgot what happen, but breakfast was dam funny. In the car, I was like going to sleep, then my mummy was like "Oi. Wear your shoe." Then I was like "You siao ah?" Then she replied "Wah! Call your mother siao!" Then we laugh. LOL! So lame. Went to school.

First period was Ad math. Chiong my work in class. Teehee I didn't do the night before as I fell asleep! Was suppose to wake up at 1am to do work with darling, in the end, both of us couldn't wake up. Wahahaha! After A math was double break. I did finish my Ad math homework! I was so glad. Hahaha. (That means I don't need to bring home to do! My bag won't be so heavy! SMILES) Went for Literature later, did caged bird. Was kinda of boring, she was boring -- Teacher.

Went for lunch, nothing much though. Then went for Economics? Gina was there, we had like this new teacher (came in this year) to relief us. We had work to do. All of us didn't know she was a Economics teacher (I knew), then she kept asking if we had any problems. Hahaha. In the end, we kept asking her. Oh well, I think she's a good teacher! I've done my work finish! Bell rang.

Went to change and get ready to umpire C div match. Finally they won a game! Hahaha 16-10. Oh well. Congratulation in breaking the EGG! Hahaha =P Went for Clique training later. Jieyun fetched us there! =DD Thanks jieyun! Went there at 7.30, didn't know training was at 7?! Hahaha. Oh well, went to run outside. WHEEE. I ran finish, but it wasn't that long. Hahaha. Train train train, I did ball work with XIAOJUAN! Teehee! Oh well, later had games. Blah blah.

Reached home at 11.30? Was so tired, went to bed, darling is waking me up at 1.30am.

Thursday, 100408

Darling called me at 1.30, couldn't wake up, so he called me at 2.30 to do work. Hahaha. Thanks darling. Woke up. Studied Chemistry. Talk talk talk halfway on the phone, then darling fell asleep. Funny horh! =P TEEHEE. Then studied finish, around 4? Then went to bed, but didn't hang up the phone. I had ear piece to listen to. Then at 6.30, someone's alarm clock RINGGGGG like mad, I woke up, but the pig didn't wake up. After some time, he woke up, then he was like "HELLO?" Then I was like "yes?" Then he went "OMGGGGG. SORRY! I fell asleep on the phone!" HAHAHA. JOKE MAN. That's my darling -- BRIAN QUEK. HAHAHA.

Went to school, was so tired. Assembly. Tutorial. Emath. Was kinda of boring, just doing work. Emily didn't come. She disappear into thin air. I did my work finish early, went downstairs to the canteen to study. Then I saw her there, with Natassia. Fuck. I was fucking piss. Like what the hecks. Like quoting from Brian "I'm going to see double" Whatever Emily, it's up to you. Oh. I doubt you'll be even seeing this.

Recess, I was hungry. I ate pizza and hor fan. Goodness. =( I'm getting fat. Went for Biology. Stupid C4! So hate it. How do you expect me to plot a graph with readings like -- 0, 0, 15, 29, 2, 2. OMG. Hate it. Oh well, went for English. BORROW STORYBOOK TIME! Hahaha. I got this book -- The man of my dreams. HAHAH. Goodness. Later went for lunch, darling made me eat again! *screams* I'm really getting fat! I showed darling my book! And he said he was going to get that book too! Haha. TOO BAD, I got it first. Hahaha.

Went for Economics. Studied again. I kinda of stone luh. Something isn't right. Hahaha =P I don't know. Later went for Chemistry. Test was horrible. =( Don't talk about it. Studied more again. End of the day. Later went to DOUBY GHUAT. Desi and YM bought tako to eat. Darling called me. Loved. Came home, dinner. Now I'm here talking to Marcus. I think he's the best guy you can ever trust. =)

Cause every word she's ever said is still ringing in my head




Nothing changes but the faces, the names, and the trends
Woke up at 6.10am. Bathe, hopped onto the car. Slept throughout the journey. Went to eat breakfast -- MeePok! Hahaha =P Desi stir stir stir until drop the fish ball! DAM FUNNY. The lady boss was kind enough to give her another fish ball. So funny =DD

Went to school. Saw all the year3 people happily chatting waiting to go OBS. Hahaha! I missed OBS days.. GIVE ME CAMPS! Oh well, assembly was boring. tutorial was nuts. Ad math was crap I got 64% for test. That is so crap. Achievement 5 =( Went for recess, studied a bit on Biology. Went for Chemistry, got back assignment : Effort 6. Studied more, was having stomachache throughout the lesson. After lesson, faster chiong to toilet. Hahaha =P

Later went for E math, new chapter. Stupid Ramesh waste my correction tape, never say earlier, then everyone need to redo the assignment. But I did it in time. Teehee. Later waited for Brian Quek Jian Liang! FOREVER DAM SLOW. Emily waited with me, talked to her about stuffs. *sighs* Couldn't be bothered already. Later went for lunch, ate nasi lemak. Gave the 5 month pregnant GUY my chicken, Desi also gave him, Daffy gave him her nasi lemak egg, and he ate his own lunch - rice + egg + 2 other meat. Goodness. And he managed to eat finish despite even eating during break - a whole packet of nasi lemak. Omg. 5 months pregnant guy. HAHAHA. That's none other than my darling - BRIAN QUEK. Hahaha.

Went for Economics. Dam pissed off at my results. I just passed! Like what shit luh! And Hian Lee go boasting his marks. At least can be as humble as Ye Ting and He Shan a not? What an asshole. Later went for Biology lesson, TEST! Goodness. I think I'm screwed =( SOBS. Oh well. Don't botherrrrr! Later went for Chemistry extra lesson. Mdm phua was so cuteee lahh! Hahaha =P I'm loving Chemistry FOREVER!! Hahah. Unlike Biology! PFTT.

Later ended, went to locker. Then went to canteen, chat with the BRIANS. Hahaha =P HIPPO was so funny. Hahaha =P Later walked out to take a taxi (it was raining) with Masashi and Ken, we had a free ride to Orchard. Hahaha. Later MRT-ed home. Dinner-ed. Ate so much. Goodness. I'm getting really fat. Hahaha. NEVERMIND, I'll run more! Hahaha, I hope =P

Now I'm here! Thinking of how to message the netballers from school that tomorrow there is training. *thinks thinks*
If we could take a picture of love.




I miss you so much
But there's nothing I can do to stop missing you
We can't do the things we normally do
Like you coming over to study
We going out for a movie
We going out for a meal
Now we're just left with 2 of us
2 separate us.
I miss you
Do I really have to wait for 5 to 7 months?
Just to get what I miss so much
Will I be able to hold that long?
We'll never know
But as time passes from now to then
Let's pray for a miracle.




Sunday, 060408
Well, continuing from in the afternoon. I didn't study, well. Wasn't in the mood. *Sighs* At night, had good dinner. My grandmother was suppose to come over, but she wasn't feeling well. So my dad invited my neighbour over. Well dinner was alright till I recieved a sms from Brian. Asking me to go read SB. I read, what do you want me to do. My whole appetite was gone.

At night, I was just staring at my computer, typing out what I wanted to say. Later, *msn sound*, he came online. Sighs. What do I tell. He replied in another post. Then, later I couldn't take it, I just wanted to thrash things out. I talked to him on msn. Then my dad come and KP me, I got so pissed off, I off my computer, went to my bed, I just cry it all out. Later went back to my computer and I think everything was unsettled but I'm not going to care anymore. Let's start afresh

Monday, 070408
Woke up at 7am. Bathe, changed, left the house for school. On the way to school, I was just thinking and thinking. *Sighs* Reached school, went to the canteen, he wasn't there. Went to hall to put my bag, I saw him, he didn't see me. *Sighs* Went down to the car park area, saw Chloe. I was so down, she felt it. We sat down and talked to each other, and he just walked passed me just like that. *Sighs* Later he smsed me where am I. Goodness.

Went to the car park, national anthem all that. Went up to the hall. I just wanted to forget everything, pretended nothing had happened. Later performance and all that. Desi and Daffy went home. Lunch was great, it was the best food the school can ever give. But still, it's pricey. Later went to do the human sculpture thing, then went to play games. It was so fun playing the "fist ball" dam cool. Hahaha. We kept playing since like 12.30 to 1.45? Hahaha. So fun.

Later roam around, wanted to go back at 2pm. They don't allow, so had to go the hall for performance. Then later was released at 3.30pm. Accompanied darling to his house the area, but didn't get to see his house. Walked to the bus stop later (the next stop after Holland, it was quite far), took a bus then MRT home.

Came home, ate maggie mee. Now I'm here.

Sighs, looks like your mummy doesn't really like me yeah? Well, during this period, I'll make sure I'll do anything to make you "obey" me to please your mother. If she wants you to sleep early, I'll give up our time during the night for your rest. If she wants you to be home and study real hard, I'll make sure I'll send you to your doorstep. If she wants you to control and prioritize your time by giving up our time, I'll do it. It just takes time for me to let go bit by bit. But I promise, I'll never let go till there's no more. I love you.
If you only knew the hell I put myself through replaying memories in my head of you and I




Tell me darling,

What do you actually want? I don't want to hear the word sorry.




We have nothing to say anymore. Our sentences were cut down to 1 words, at most 3 words. Did we lost our touch of speech? Or did we just distant? Or did we just got bored of each other? Is this love? Tell me I'm just imaging. Tell me I'm just unreasonable. Just tell me.

Maybe they're right. You're aren't that type of guy that I thought you were. Well, yeah. I've just got my answer.




Saturday, 060408

Couldn't wake up early. So we went for branch at like 11? Hahaha. Oh well, was suppose to have tuition in the afternoon, but brother canceled it. Oh well. Afternoon, did nothing. Was quite boring. With all that spamming of emails due to the clique stuffs. Then we suggested to make a blog, it'll be MUCH MUCH better. So we went to create a blog for clique. http://cliquenetball.blogspot.com/.

Was suppose to go back to school to take my Biology and Chemistry files as I have tests next week. But I left the house at like 2.45? Met darling at Starbucks as he was studying there. Later strolled back to school, got my stuffs. Went to cold storage to get drinks. Went to Burger King to eat. Talk talk talk. Oh well.

Later went home. It was raining, so my maid came out and brought umbrella. Went home, Mummy is in a bad mood. Anyhow scold scold scold. Idiot. Piss me off only. Went for dinner at some place, it was my grandmother's 80th birthday. We were last luh! Haha.

The food sucks & all isn't fresh. I think that is what made me felt like vomiting. Oh well, it was alright. Reached home at 12? I think. Went to sleep. It's not good wearing skinny jeans when your legs are aching. SHIT IDIOT.

Sunday, 060408

Woke up at 9+ 10? Normal routine - market. Oh well. Came home around 12+? I'm so bored now. Nothing to do. Just updating the clique website. Darling is mugging like shit now. Oh well, got to start studying. See you.

Where do we stand now. We've distanced. I hate that feeling - I'm unwanted.




Throw it away. Forget yesterday

Well, yesterday. I don't know what to say. It was our 1st monthsary. Woken up by darling at 4.30am, was suppose to do work. But I didn't, I went writing letters~ Oh well, went to school. He claimed he lost his wallet, but it was Daffy who took it. I put a letter in his wallet, thinking he would see it (it was obvious), but nope. It was until I showed Desi and Yaanmeng, and it was super obvious to them, he kept flipping through the wallet, and finally found it.

Went for Chinese, did test paper. He sat beside me, I wrote something on his hand using my highlighter, but he can't read it. Later I went outside to do my work as some assholes were dam noisy. He finished and I was still doing. He waited for me, then I asked him to follow me to this locker. & I opened the locker leaving a small gap for him to peep. And he saw it. Sighs, I spoiled the surprised. Oh well, went for Biology (during recess) to do my C4, I can't do finish. I didn't know what to do. And at the end of the break, I have not done my procedures.

Went for English. Teacher scolded me because I didn't do my speech. What a bother.. Oh well, then later English ended. Wanted to wait for him to finish his Economics test, but I had to go for Biology C4 to finish up my work. He came and accompany me, he gave me marshmellows, but unfortunately, I don'y really fancy marshmellows. I do eat, but only in BBQ form. Haha. Choosy me, when he heard that I don't really fancy marshmellows, he just sunk. I'm so sorry. =[

Went for Literature late as I was very very hungry. I got so pahseh in the canteen, when he was with me buying bread, then Kim that table just shouted "HAPPY 1 MONTH ANNIVERSARY!" I just went "omgs *blush*" Hahaha. =P Oh well. Went for Literature, I wasn't in the mood for studying though. I got back my essay - 14/20. Oh well. =|

After school, went to umpire Cdiv match. It was quite retarded. Of course lose luh. Hahaha =P Later played awhile with the juniors and germaine. Later went to the hall and play badminton. Went to kallang later.

Training was moody and tiring. I played so badly. Something wasn't right about me. Well, of course, my hopes were dashed, someone was just missing...

went to eat supper later, after awhile, I was alright. Reached home at 1am. SLEEP.
Everything ended.




Why am I doing so much. When you don't even take it into consideration. The first thing I called you, I just wanted to hear that 3 words, but no. Nothing of that came out, and I had to initiate it. I just hope miracles do happen today. I love you.




I'M SO LAZY TO POST.
WILL POST SOME OTHER DAY.
HAHAHAHAHA.

DULCENAYEN. ♥
ATTACHED to Brian Quek,
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